I'm sitting in the car right now while she's in the Whole Food grocery store. I've been somewhat reflecting lately. I don't think anyone does it alone. I mean people don't succeed without aid. There are many people who I have to thank for just how far that I have already came. I realized that I've always done my own thing and no matter how different they said I was, I just stuck to it. I hate when someone has to go way out of their way to say that are responsible for all of your successes. That's a selfish belief. Giving is supposed to be cheerful. Mr. Myaigi didn't hassle Daniel Son for even a payment. I never ask for anything in return for what I've given to anyone. I was taught that you don't give to receive, so stop waiting for your gift basket. You know how many gift baskets I would have to give out, that could take years. I do appreciate and am thankful. Pay it forward. Believe that. Man, I've been sitting in this car for a long time and its hot. She's probably never coming out. Women can be so inconsiderate when it comes to shopping for anything, even groceries, even eggs. And she always wants to be in there talking to the employess like they're her real friends. I'm her only real friend and she has me in the car burning up. She didn't even leave the keys, like I'm gonna pull off and strand her.

Just finished doing my third set in 3 different locations tonight. That is the essence of the grind, knowing that hard work is required for success, and loving the work. The love part is a bonus. I live a different type of comedian life, at least from many other comedians that I hang with. My time is limited b/c I have to balance it with family. Not an easy task. Family's first. They have to be covered on all angles. Comedy requires A LOT of time and is the means to support the family financially. Its all a machine. To me its amazing that I've created this all from bottom to top. You know, I live a no holds barred comedy regime. I will perform anywhere just to be on stage. If I turn something down, its most likely b/c of a promoter involved that didn't make the circumstances enjoyable. OR, now that I'm famous, I guess time is an issue too.

Hello My Friends, I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. I made a lot of great decisions this week. I joke about my Will Power being amazing. Well, it withstood the tests. I'm really proud of myself, and I question is it even worth it to go into the kitchen just to see if you can handle the heat? The shows and the people that I met were amazing, and that will be the reason that I come back. Next time, I'll bring my buddy who's a pastor just so my mind doesn't even get a chance to wander. I learned something about myself this week. I have a very vivid imagination, and with so much time to imagine, it became vivider. You like that word? I made it up. I can, I have an English degree. Did you know that about me? Anyways, I was very productive also, in such a fast paced environment, its not always easy. You know, sometimes hard work is not just waking up and writing material, making phone calls, and returning emails, sometimes, for some people, hard work is defeating your temptation with a knife and a sword. Well, maybe not with your sword. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wasn't that funny, huh?

Today in was in Nebraska doing a competition for the Great American Comedy Festival. It honors the hometown of Johnny Carson. I'm competing with many comedians who have been on the David Letterman show multiple times, comedians who I have looked at and said, "I have a lot of work to do." I was performing on the second night and one observation I noticed of the comics performing on the first night was that they were ALL dressed up, nice, suits and ties. They looked really respectful. I actually didn't bring clothing to perform in. I have the old threads that I came in and a couple of old t shirts just for casual kicking it, but nothing really to perform in. So I start thinking, "I need to step up my fashion game." This thought came to me as we were passing the Salvation Army. Why not? is one of the theories that I live by. While inside it seemed that most of the clothing had a funny smell, but they had some deals!! I think I spent about $14 and I left with about five items, two of which were sportscoats. I was prepared to look like a light purple comedy pimp, and excited too. One the running jokes for the evening was that I was being excelled by the spirit of the dead guy's coat. We don't know if this guy died, but it was funnier that way. I did advance to the finals, but I guess there's no way to really tell if the sportcoat donator was dead or if his powers were being transmitted into successful sets for me. Thanks for coming. Leave a message.

1.SexyNEducated i saw him @ punchline sacramento last night and if he was the main event Our party would of walked out. 2. So he came to my school and I thought "he looks like one of us....well one of me at least." The white people tried to stifle their laughs when he brought out the race card. I was laughing so hard my chest hurt. -Breanna 3. "Hey Mike, great show tonight. I was in Vegas last week and I saw Carrot Top. Your show blew his away." -Ryan from Oshkosh University 4.I saw him perform in Sac. He had me and my gf in tears when he pointed out how different a face can look just by tilting your head up and down. I was telling my lady the same thing a week ago but his delivery on stage was priceless. Happy to creepy. -Tesh 5. I was visiting a friend in sacramento and we went to the punchline when you were there last month and i laughed until I cried, you were hilarious! I went to rooster t feathers yesterday excited that you were going to be there and you weren't there! I was really bummed about it -Sara

ITS BEING REMOVED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!! 

Well, I'm glad that you made it here.You can now access my website in so many different ways. If you made it here by pickleheadbitch, that to me, has to be the funniest avenue to travel. So many people don't believe that is really it. Some things are really amazing. Its amazing to me that people wear t-shirts with my silly face on them. When I grew up struggling on the mean streets, dodging bullets in Baltimore, I never could have imagined some of interesting lifestyles that I would encounter, some of the places that I would travel. I just keep going and something new is in front of me. Thats all that we can do, is continue moving. Ups and downs will come our way, but you can't prepare for the good and bad. Sometimes, it just is. Hope your day today is amazing. Guess what, something great is gonna happen to you really soon. Something you were not even ready for, then you're gonna recall back to this message, and think.... Pickle Head Bitch!!!!

I went snowboarding once, and that was my last time and final time going snowboarding.

I have amazing amount of love that lives inside of me. I love my family, who are all so supportive and very involved, and always willing to step in and lend a hand. I have people around me that care. Gigantic blessing. I want to believe that through the way I sow such massive amounts of love is the reason it comes back to me in such a way. Going out of your way to make someone's day is just one of many forms of intercession. Love your neighbor. I hope if not now, then later, people are touched by the joy that my soul spreads into the universe. Sometimes its more  than just "being," sometimes you have to be the driver and not just the passenger. I think some of us were meant to go make it happen. That some of us is you.

So I'm in Japan, and outside my window is Mount Fugi. This is the largest mountain in Japan. I didn't know at first, I thought it was a volcano. I was like, "I hope that thing doesn't go off before I get a chance to do my first show." I still have about 7 hours before my very first show out here and  I can't wait. I'm not sure why I can't wait. I think I just like to perform. I'm glad that I made this trip. Kisha is mad about me going but I'm not sure why. She doesn't fly so I think its because of the length of the plane ride.

Amazing day. I wrote jokes and later I performed them for real people. Some of them had potential, and others were just phenomenal. I'm talking about the jokes. In order to be successful with anything, you have to treat it with love. i have been traveling so much that I was looking to spend a nice evening at home for my birthday. She insisted that us going out to some sort of dinner or surprise is tradition. I'm glad that I'm loved enough that she would take the time to make the arrangements. I just wanted to invite a few people over the house and have some Chinese food, but when do you ever get to do what you want to do on your birthday. In the am/eve of my birthday, I find myself watching some Lifetime movie with Jefferson from the Bundy's or Married with Children. He's not giving his child enough attention and I'm sure someone is gonna die by the end of this movie. They're always such horrid murders. You know, someone blows up in a shed or gets ran over by a paint truck. This post really has no purpose, so I think its time to cut it short. I enjoy talking to you. If you have any questions, you can email me here on my contact page. Later.

Today I performed at Foothills College. They were having disease awareness month, and I heard all the options that people have to protect themselves. There's so many stds that you can catch, that a person might as well not even have sex. Why are people doing it? Its not safe. Is sex a necessity of life? I wish I was a virgin. When you have the experience for the first time, its really overrated. Most people finish and they're like, "Thats it huh?" You can contract a disease in one single experience, so in order to protect the next person, people need to hit that clinic. People always say they love the next person, but isn't love going and getting a test so you don't hurt the next man. We have amazing technology, you can find out results on the spot. Do they have a take home std test? That could be a handy tool. You can both urinate on it, look at the results and then decide if its worth taking the risk. The results come in and you read them, "Well they got a cure for this one."

Its always a good time to have movie night at the crib. We have the snacks, the drinks, the film, and the big screen. Its too late for the phone to ring. If it does, either somebody died or her family is calling. Either way, we will just look at the number and let the phone ring. We are officially in texting hours. One of my favorite things to have is real movie theater popcorn. I love that delicious buttery unhealthiness. I can feel my veins clogging up, but its good. Everything in moderation, right? We can't ever find the remote to the dvd player, so we can to go back and forth and fight for whose gonna walk back to hit play after the previews are complete. Next thing that happens is she leaves her pomogranate juice in the fridge and guess who is supposed to go volunteer to go get it. Well, forget that. I just had to get up start the movie. I know she's the one who lost the remote. I don't even watch that many movies. Now something has to happen in the movie that sparks this comment. "Ha ha, you do stuff like that." Now its on. The fight has begun. Its gonna be quiet for a while, but that comment is always taken so personal. Its hard to continue enjoying the movie. Thats why movie night is always a flop because people can't shut up and enjoy the movie. I guess we'll try and watch it another day.

I just thought it was time for a new post. You know what I mean? There are some people who visit to see the updates. Here's an update. I have ten booked shows next week and I'm actually flirting with a new style. I don't know if you will notice, but just to give you some inside info, the pacing is a little faster. I still will have my stories and they will accompany some real deal jokes. All my material comes from a real place. I had an amazing year in 09, but I think this 2010 is gonna be special. I have some gigantic goals, one of which is my own sitcom. Another is really capitalizing on this college tour that I'm working on. Well, I'm about to go and get something more to eat.

Very enjoyable time these days. More time and peace. Making new friends. Losing old friends. Friends are like myspace and facebook, when you have many you don't even notice when you lose one. Thats a joke. I just like meeting people and new personalities. I have a lot of work planned for 2010. Where I want to really step up my game is on some television. Preferable television. I'm going to wait a bit for movies unless they give me an offer I can't refuse. I can continue my standup schedule while also working on a television show. I've done it before. Its always been amazing to me how one day can change your life. I've had plenty of those days. I recently had another one. That particular day opened up many feelings. No longer will I be putting the clamps on. No more giving explanations. I enjoy really just doing what I want to do. Creative freedom comes when one allows himself no restrictions. Everyday is a celebration.

Had to kill that negative stuff. I'm sitting here watching ultimate fighting thinking about how I would be with those skills. Fighting is obviously not the gift that I am blessed with unless there is something about myself that I don't know yet. Reminds me of that movie Bourne Ultimatum, how Jason Bourne kept finding out all these talents that he had. I can beat people up with jokes ONLY. I'm gonna work on that. It is still amazing to me how you can physically move people's bodies with words. I don't know what part I like the most; people buckling over in laughter or tears from something that was that funny. I have a show tonight in San Leandro, California. I'm really looking forward to it. I don't miss being a middle act. Headlining is the dream. I am a fan of time and growth and strengthening the craft. I want my message to come through. Life is going to continue to hand you blows. I had to keep in mind that I'm human, and its normal to have a bad day every once in a while. There's a lot of parts of being human that I don't really want to accept. With all that being said, these post are really a different side of me. I don't think I show any signs of humor here, but thats fine. As long as its shown on stage I guess. I'll talk to you later. Go to my Contact page to leave me a personal message, but comment anywhere that you like.

I don't feel like writing right now. I'm one of those people that gets a computer in front of him and begins to write about everything with no purpose. I'm kind of bitter today. I hate when I feel like this. I've been making an effort to be around people who bring joy. I want to be surrounded by people who want to focus on goals and the positive aspects of life. I don't need to hear you talking negative about someone and then saying, "I don't like talking about people." Well, you obviously don't mind. This post may be deleted in a few days. Why do things have to be addressed seriously? All you do is joke about everything. So what? Who says that you can't? Who's making the rules? I'm enjoying life. Thats what I'm going to continue to do, and please stop bringing your dark cloud in my vicinity, in my area, near. I want to love everyone, and I do, but people don't make it easy for you to like them all the time. I'm unhappy with a lot of situations lately, and fortunately, I have stages to perform on, where audiences just think that I'm there merely to be funny. It's a bit more than that. I have a job that I need. I am truly able to say absolutely anything. During the course of a day, I am only able to think 'anything', but when I have a microphone in my hand nothing matters. That freedom is something I wish I had in other aspects of my life. Thanks to everyone who helped me promote for all the upcoming events and my Comedy Central Live at Gotham on Dec 4th.

I just earned a bunch of bookings at colleges in the Mid East. Colleges are fun to play. I performed at this conference in Kentucky and they gave me five minutes to impress and a few of them bit on it. It a was an unusual slot to play because there were eight of us in this specific showcase and six of them were singers and musicians and there was a spoken word artist and then myself. By the time they got to me in the seventh slot, these people were ready to laugh. They laughed at as I approached the microphone. I can be funny looking at certain angles, but this night I looked especially funny. Check my calendar and see if I'm coming to your town any time soon. That wasn't very funny was it? You were really waiting though. I could tell. Thats how I felt when I reread it.

I am currently working on a big project for CBS. I am part of a diversity sketch group where we pitch ideas and rehearse sketches that we will develop and perform live. I am surrounded by some very talented people. This opportunity has already opened some doors that I didn't know that I would be in front of. I am living in Los Angeles for a portion of every week and I do the rest of my time in Sacramento. I have my own television show on a separate note. I don't know when or where or on which network this is going to air on. What I do know is that its funny. Don't forget to set you televisions so that you can watch me on Comedy Central December 4th at 8:00pm. Check my calendar for live shows in your town because I have some guestlists available.

Sometimes you just need separate accounts so you don't give the wrong person access to your money. When you're married, your spouse is supposed to be the right person. Jon withdrew a lot of money and Kate wasn't too happy about it. This comes down to how you work out problems in your relationship. The bottom line is communication, and something was obviously not communicated properly. I love my wife and I can see her jacking "us" for a whole bunch of money. She already makes jokes about how hard she would make it for me if we decided to part ways. I love her tremendously, so that obvious red flag just gets ignored. MORE RED FLAGS. COMING SOON

Do you really want to be famous? I think people just say that. What good happens when you're famous? You can get in the night club free. People treat you better. Now you can sell more products. Ok, so you don't necessarily want to be famous, you just want to make more money. Is it that you just want people to know you? Is there some message that you are trying to get across to the world. Thats good. The more people that are within your reach, the more people you can touch. I think I want people to know to keep pushing, keep moving, don't quit and a better day is near, amongst a million other things I want people to know. Today is a good day and each day brings something new and fresh. You have to pay really close attention to some of the situations that happen in your life and you'll realize show significant those times are. None of this is funny. There are times when I just get a feeling to share something. Thanks for listening. I guess I'll catch up with you the next time. The Comedy Central airs Dec 4th at 11 0'clock.

Sometimes, you just want those moments back. The time when you walked her to the car, and you were nervous about leaning in for the kiss; when you couldn't wait to be around this person because you lived separately, and when you two were there together, you didn't want to leave, but her Grandma was due back at anytime.

How do you get your kids to go to bed? Do you beat them until they cry themselves to sleep? Do you give them cough medicine until they pass out? Do you lock them in the room and turn up your radio really loud? Do you leave your home and come back in the morning and assume that they went to bed? Do you tell them that if they don't go to bed now, you'll break their stuff? Do you threaten to lock their television station to the show Real and Chance? Do you just get mad and not say anything? Do you blame your woman and get in a fight with her? Do you go bowling because bowling always brings joy in any situation? Do you research the information to solve this on Dr. Phil's website? Do you pray to Jesus? Do you let them sleep with you and ruin your relationship? Do you go in the kitchen and start cooking breakfast like its really morning, but its still dark outside, so everyone is wondering why do we smell eggs? Do you cry? Do you wonder why you had kids in the first place and then get mad at your woman because it wasn't your idea, but you felt pressured and had to go along with it, but now you're older and have accepted the entire situation, kind of? Do you just start cleaning up the house because you don't want to appear defeated? Do you call your job and tell them on their voicemail that you won't be in tomorrow because this has irritated you so much you just wanna miss work? Do you call your mom and ask her what she used to do? Do you call your grandma and her what she used to do with your mom or dad? Do you start hating on your kid to other kids? Do you threaten the child that you're gonna tell everyone that they still urinate in the sheets, or as they say in the hood peeindabed? Do you turn off all the lights, and scare the kid, and never reveal yourself? Do you go in the mirror and say Candyman 3 times? Do you give them homework assignments?

This is my new website. The making of this site took a lot of time to come together. I don't even look the same as when I began creating this with the help of Tony. Standup Comedy is working out for me. I have some shows coming out on T.V. I will be on Comedy Central on December 4th, unless the schedule changes, and I am growing as a performer, but here are the issues. I'm not moving to L.A., unless

The little petite guy had on an amazing 72 layered scarf. That was not the biggest news of the evening, but that was the most material I had ever seen...

I WASN'T DRUNK... Tonight I had two shows back to back in different locations where I performed long sets. I was on stage for 55 minutes on my show at the Punchline. It was fun, but weird because I thought I repeating some of the same jokes that I already told, but there were just ones that I might have told at the first show. Because of that, I did a lot of making up stuff on the spot, just to make sure that nothing was repeated. That wasn't alcohol, it was old timers. Thats what I'm gonna call now instead of trying to spell it the other way.

Its really late, but I'm excited about the morning. I will be on Goodday Sacramento and I'm promoting for my Thurs at the Punchline comedy club on KSFM 1025 from 8:30 to something or whenever they have me. Either way, I'm getting out there. 

I'm ready to put out some more videos on youtube and whereever else. I did a new show for Byron Allen. I don't know when its set to air. I do know that Jimmie JJ Walker was on my same show, and if you've been around me,