DJ SENTIMENTAL’S PLAYLIST (Please add a sad track)

1. Boyz to Men- It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye

SPEAK YOUR MIND RIGHT HERE!!

WHAT STUCK OUT? Let me know. Feedback creates champions.

Are You a Cheapass for Using COUPONS?

Why is it we have a struggling economy, but you still get looked down upon when you whip out a coupon. All it is, is a means to save money. What’s so bad about that? Coupons are like crushes, you don’t want to admit you have them, but its normal. What’s so weird about it? Is it that you took the time to look, or you cut it out so neatly, or you didn’t tell anyone so you could all save. I bet if you whipped out a coupon for everyone, you would be a hero. They would call you Coupon Man. He saved the day and some money. When you’re dating you really can’t whip one out, but when you’re married, you’re cool for doing that. Thats a sign of love. That means you did research. If your date whips out a coupon, you have to know, you have found someone “real.” Even worse, I don’t know if you know this, but if you whip out a coupon in Los Angeles, it will immediately catch fire. Its illegal there, I saw it happen.


WHAT I HATE… I hate when I go through the line and I forget to give it to them and they try to tell me its too late then we have to call the manager to get the .75 cents.

Stupid Children Names

KEEP YOUR CHILD IN MIND WHEN YOU NAME THEM. They’re the ones who have to live with the name. Just because you thought it would be cute to name your child Sandwich Chips Harrison doesn’t mean other kids in school won’t beat their ass for no reason. “It felt good at the time” is not a good enough reason to ruin your child’s life. A low percentage of people actually go through the process of changing their name, so its a bad position to be in. There is never gonna be a president or powerful person named Orangejello. I’m sorry Orangejello if you’re reading this, but you’re destined for failure. Every day people are laughing at you. You have a better chance becoming a comedian and talking about that the entire time. If you name your children something stupid, you’re selfish and you needed to hear this. That’s mean and unjust. Meanwhile your name is common like John or Sarah. How could you be so dirty!! Thx Cindy. I cut this short. This could have gone on much longer. And also, thankyou Mom and Dad for naming me Michael. It helped.

Your Bizness on Facebook

IF YOU DON’T WANT US TO KNOW YOUR BIZNESS, DON’T POST IT SO THE WORLD CAN SEE. I hate when someone puts up a status update, and then they get mad at you for having an opinion. There are other ways to share you feelings besides putting it on the internet. You’re not supposed to speak hateful about loved ones anyways, b/c if someone agrees with you and you and your loved one rekindle, then you’ll never forget what the other person said about your loved one. You know? People are so open about their personal life when a keyboard is in front of them, but if you walk up to them and say, “So, I heard that girl gave you an itch.” They get an attitude with you. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Special thx to A. Lopez

CAMPAIGN MIKE E. WINFIELD VOTE NOW!!

view video click here: CAMPAIGN MIKE E. WINFIELD VOTE NOW!!

I need 7000 people to like this page by clicking the facebook tab to the right: http://www.facebook.com/imnotsmiling

Who Hates Your Job?

I worked in the self check dpt. at the grocery in the hood, watching people steal all day!!

Scared Straight For Girls

I’m watching Scared Straight, the young girl edition. Man, I’m afraid. These chicks are HARD. That is a frightening lifestyle and I am not that funny to make them laugh the entire time so they won’t whip me. I watched an episode a long time ago where one of the convicts thought the kid was laughing and they kept smacking him around. Well, the kid had a condition that his face would smurk when he was extremely nervous. That’s what would happen to me. They would beat my ass for thinking something was funny. One of the lifers said, “PUT YOUR HANDS TO YOUR SIDE. HOW MANY TIMES WE HAVE TO TELL YOU.” Thats all I would need to hear. I think I would break for the gate and take the risk of the snipers taking me out. Please continue to support my comedy so I don’t have to become incarcerated. That’s what would happen.

PEE ON YOURSELF FUNNY

Whether you win or lose… Not in my book. Greatness. My internal drive pushes me to be the ultimate best.  I hope this is a good thing. I know some competitive people who are turnoffs, but when its done correctly, it can be fun. Seriously, when people come to my shows, I don’t even want them to be like. “This guy is good.” I want them to be like, “This might be the funniest person in the world. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I just peed on myself and I’m not getting up to go dry off.” His woman says, “My face hurts!! It hurts! I can’t laugh anymore b/c of the pain. Stop young attractive skinny black comedian. I’m crying now, and my man is wet. This is the funniest show I’ve seen in my 53 years.” I know it doesn’t work like that, but thats what I’m going for. I’m not playing for second, and thats why the team around me has to be blood driven too. Everything done in love. People close to me know that I’m like this about everything, not just comedy. “Drive” is an important tool, and key to maintaining success. While you’re sleeping, they’re working.

Random Email= LOVE

Subject: When are you returning

Mike E.,
I had the pleasure of seeing you for the first time a few months ago at one of your shows in Cleveland at Hilarities/Pickwick & Frolic. I had never heard of you before, but oh wow, you were funny as hell!! You were built for this! So, keep grinding because at some point you will be a household name. When are you coming back to Cleveland? I’ll make it my business to check you out again! Blessings to you in the new year!