Are They Doing It?

Weirdest thing happened or maybe it wasn’t so weird. I walk into a business that I always go to. Today, I was in way earlier than I normally go. So, as I’m pulling into the parking lot, the owner pulls in and one of his employees is in the passenger seat. It didn’t seem too strange at first thought. Then as she’s getting out, the first thing she says is, “Its not how it looks.” Ok… so now its interesting. Where at first I didn’t care, now this has turned into a talk show. I didn’t think it looked like anything, but now I guess they are getting it on. I still don’t really care. I haven’t blogged in a while and this happened today, so why not. Sometimes things are newsworthy by default. He defended it by saying, “Yeah, we live on the same block.” Smooth buddy. These were the two guiltiest people that I’ve encountered in some time. I’m glad people are in the streets enjoying each other romantically.


How can your flight be three hours late? Did the pilot have some sex he couldn’t pass on and he called United to tell them something came up, but he’ll be on his way in a few. Is he Denzel Washington? For my inconvenience, they gave me a hotel and a food voucher, but no one cares that you want to be vegan. They always have a beefy-ass chicken-ass menu selection. I’m sitting here at the Denver airport at some pub. I don’t hang out in pubs, but tonight I’m chillin, eating a bean burger and sippin on some Sweaty Betty Blonde. They never have drinks called LaKisha. And where is the chef from? Why does he have to wear this full armored chef outfit if all he’s preparing is sandwiches. What is it Halloween? What’s next, is my taxi driver gonna be dressed in a limo outfit? Man, I gotta go. I have a comedy competition this weekend. Big fun right? I have to be funnier than 9 other guys so I can win $10,000. What am I really trying to achieve this weekend. I don’t know. I’m just gonna have as much fun as I possibly can and I’m buying some damn shoes. I’m Mike E. Winfield.

What I’m Gonna Do W/ the $10,000

When I win this competition the first thing I’m gonna do is stare at the check for 4 days. Maybe 5, depending on what day the last day falls on. That’s still a lot of money to me at once. Then I’ll tell my wife that I won on that fifth day once I’m done staring. Depending on how she’s acting at the time, I’ll tell her that I placed first or fourth. That’s a joke. She’ll read the results online. I don’t really need rims, I need a car, but I’m not buying one. I’ll probably hit the strip club if my wife wants to go. She won’t let me go alone. I’m too charismatic. After I’m done dropping 30 over there, I’m definitely going out to eat at Noble Veg, that’s this Vietnamese Vegetarian restaurant. Super good. Then I’ll cash the rest and put it in my pillow case, so I can sleep on a money pillow. Next week I think I’m taking tap dancing lessons. I’m doing different things this weekend so I can get different results.