Entries by Mike E. Winfield

How’s Your Morning

Every once in awhile we click on that link when the wrong person is nearby. Today for me, it was a kid and his dad. I didn’t even know. I’m serious. I thought I was opening a link on sports injuries, and that’s what it wasn’t. So the way things work, we all get to […]

Aunt Bern’s Ceiling Fan

I’m stayed with Aunt Bernadette and she has an old house, but that’s no excuse for a ceiling fan, that when turned on, looks like it might fall out of the wall and cut your head off. I love Aunty but when you have to make life decisions to cool down or be decapitated, we […]

The Big Audition

So I’m In Santa Monica auditioning for this new George Lopez pilot, for TV Land. I studied, I’m in the room, and I murder the audition. I feel great, and I’m proud, because normally auditions suck ass. I don’t think I could feel any better. Then I walk outside of the audition room, and Ashy […]

Embarrassing Stuff You Do As A Kid

In 5th grade I played little league baseball. On tv, I saw this guy Ozzie Smith on the Saint Louis Cardinals do a cartwheel when he went on the field, so I did it in my game, and looked so stupid. I didn’t immediately think that. It was years later when I was like, “Why […]


One sign that your kid is a hater. Wife and I are sitting at the table, each on our laptops, minding our own business. Then he comes to my screen and says, “Dad, whose that girl.” Me: What girl? “The one that was on your screen before you clicked it off.” ‪#‎TIMETOINSTITUTEASSBEATING‬