More to come.
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Dallas Fort Worth
I’m staying at this hotel and that is some very interesting history. Reassuring as well to know that the apparently the walls are tapped. They are listening to everything that I’m saying and hopefully there is no video footage. In hotel rooms, I dress pretty light. If you killed the president, why would you even hide? That’s such an outrageous feat, that it would seem like you would want to be known for it. It seems that after you accomplished this, you would post it on Hatebook.
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I just watch this amazing fight, and as usual, this is a great metaphor for comedy. They call this the Rumble in The Jungle and Ali played Foreman like a trombone. He completely paced himself until Foreman had no juice left in his tank, meanwhile never allowing Foreman to know his actual tactic. This is a clear example of how you use patience. You wait for your moment, and then in that eighth round, you pick your spot and unload. It was so well crafted, and no one knew, but Ali. So just in case you didn’t pick up the moral, what I’m trying to say is that at one of my upcoming shows, I am going to punch someone at the perfect moment. Consider this the warning, and then afterwards, I’ll remind you that I’m the greatest.
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I don’t like to talk about what’s in the making, so stay tuned b/c I plan to have some news soon. And if I have no news, I’m not even gonna share what was about to be. Seriously, stay tuned.
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Its packed and people are high energy no matter which night of the week it is. When you open for an event this big, you have to let people know that you belong there or else, they’re just waiting for you to bring out the headliner. I’m working out a set that I have to do in 3 weeks for an airline. Sounds unusual but there always has to be something in the making. I’ll be headlining my own shows soon, so check in on my website’s event page and definitely join my mailing list so you can receive the email for my updates.
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So far its freezing but that’s expected. 7:39p The first two shows are solid. I’m dropping new material in this room like pelicans. I have to be out the door at 7am Fri morn to interview on FOX. A few of the shows are already sold out. I’m hoping this places them over the edge. I sell a few tickets, but I’m far from where I plan to be. It’s 1:37a.m. now. I’m gonna get in my notes one more time before I pass out. I actually recorded tonight’s show, so I’ll go watch it for my viewing pleasure.
SIDENOTE, Who knows how to do wordpress? I need to remove some of these photos and add new ones, along with a lot of other changes.
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What do you want from me? This is not an angry message. I’m sitting here in a 3rd story condo in downtown Chicago in my long johns and a beany hat. I truly enjoy this, even though I wish I could get the heat to work.
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Back in your arctic climate. Freezing is an understatement. On my walk to the comedy club, I passed a Polar Bear. He said he’ll be extinct soon. I said, “So will I.” He said, “Where can I get some good Walleye?” I said, “They have a good dish at Acme Comedy Club, but I don’t know if you do potatoes.” Minneapolis is that city that people don’t really talk about, but I can confirm that it is a good time. I’m living a road comic’s life this week too. You should see this hotel room. Housekeeping is gonna leave me a note that reads, “Unacceptable Mike E.” I also walked to downtown. There were all these guys hustling tickets to the Minnesota Timberwolves. Oh that sounds like big fun. Who they play determines if I might consider it. My city’s team is the Sacramento Kings. If the Kings play the Timberwolves, I can guarantee there would be more people at my show if I performed in a laundry mat. You’d have to pay me to go to that game. That game would look like the Harlem Globetrotters, but funnier. I bet you during the game, they talk about reality shows. They should combine teams and become one sucky team. The TimberKings or the Wings, whichever we can get the best mascot out of.
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I’m think I’ll take it easy, stay off the roads. I’ll probably spit a couple jokes and sip on something sweet. I like the start of the year and what it has to bring. I don’t make resolutions but I do like the idea of a fresh start. It’s crazy how the year begins in such an outrageous fashion. Drunk and drugged out people doing who knows what until they wake up somewhere. Every year stupid people still try to drive when they know they shouldn’t and dumber people get in the cars with them. Be safe is all you can really tell people I guess. It’s on a Saturday night too! Probably gonna be a wild one. 
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I’m gonna post something every night that was post worthy. 1. If you ever get lost, don’t ever ask someone who looks crazy for directions. They always want payback, but it’s always such an odd request. “Ok, I helped you, now I’m gonna need some paint brush cans.”
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