Silence really speaks volumes, but I don’t really trust anything. Colin Kaepernick begins his style of protesting, and strong feelings are felt on both sides. There’s people in disbelief that black people are treated differently from other US citizens, and then barely two games into the season two more black men are murdered at the hands of the police. The timing is too coincidental and overbearingly numbing. It feels like a narrative that’s being created by something using low mental capacity as pawns. I’m far from a conspiracy theorists, I’m just an observer of life, and all this feels designed, orchestrated, and terrifying for black skin.
I’m mad at the lady from Delta who told me my carry-on bag wasn’t gonna fit. I knew it would fit b/c I was counting how many people were bringing on bags, and I just knew it. I allow them to take it from me b/c I don’t want to be a problem being black and all, and then I get on the flight and there’s all kinds of open bins. Now I’m heated, but I’m not gonna express my anger b/c the most important part is the safety of the flight. To be honest, I think Delta is up to something sneaky. They’ve done this to me twice in my last three flights, but whatever.
I’m performing at some college in the Carolinas, a state where a lot of artists are cancelling their shows b/c of the current anti LGBT laws. I think it’s stupid that people still find ways to segregate. I’m not surprised at all, but it’s stupid. Since I could really use the money, I’m gonna use this opportunity to make a difference on stage with new material about a devicive society and segregation in 2016, and also country music.
Auditioning in Hollywood is so exhausting. Sometimes, I wonder what I got myself into. I’m worn out, and I wear it well but now you’ll know. It’s so much to it. I respect talented acting so much, and I know that it’s an art form and like anything that you have to work at it to become amazing. Everyone thinks they’re a natural, and you might be but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to work at it. I’m getting more call backs than I ever received in my career. I’m even “testing” for sitcoms which is a big deal. I know a little bit, but there’s so much to it. Who you know is huge. You can kill an opportunity, but sometimes factors out of your control can take over. Anything can happen. They could love you, but you’re not tall enough, or there’s already 3 black people, and that’s kinda the quota. In my life right now, even the doors at the grocery store are closed, so I can’t go back there for work. I keep getting close and that’s hard. It’s like making it to the championship, but not winning the title. I’m exhausted. I’m not taking for granted any opportunity, so that’s good, but man. I have to take power naps just to operate. Once I do finally land something, I’m already prepared for the work it’s gonna take.
Most people don’t care about battles that don’t affect them personally. I’m not using all my energy for dolphin abuse. I love dolphins and don’t have anything against them, but I have more immediate issues to fight. I don’t want an Oscar if you’re just gonna give it to me for some kind of sympathy reward. As long as my work is respected, and my moneys coming in, let it be. What’s next, are they gonna make an Affirmative Action Oscar rule, so now every time you win, there will be an asterisk next to your name. I’m good. Will I get more money if I win an Oscar… Yes. I say let it stay racist. Every year, when they continue to overlook nominations and winners, they’re just gonna lose credibility. I’ve found that I’ve received more praise for coming in second when some felt I should’ve been first.
What if it’s the longest running inside joke ever. They’re in a a private room deciding the nominations, and they’re like, “Hey, we’re gonna do it again!” #OscarsSoWhite
What stood out about last night’s show at the Denver Improv Comedy Club & Dinner Theater was that almost the entire crowd stayed afterwards in the lobby to hang out and chill. It’s cool that you can rock with a group for an hour and it doesn’t have to end after that. And it wasn’t just people buying merch and offering me weed even though that happen, it was about people that could relate. It was about no negativity. It was about no hate. About Love. I really appreciate a community with a heart. This is gonna be a lovely weekend.
Every once in awhile we click on that link when the wrong person is nearby. Today for me, it was a kid and his dad. I didn’t even know. I’m serious. I thought I was opening a link on sports injuries, and that’s what it wasn’t. So the way things work, we all get to share a row on this full flight. There were so many other seats. How did we end up on the same row. Every time I open something on the iPad now, I feel the kid glancing over to see if he’s gonna get a high light reel, and I’m sure the dad just thinks I couldn’t hold back my desire for naked chubbies.
I’m stayed with Aunt Bernadette and she has an old house, but that’s no excuse for a ceiling fan, that when turned on, looks like it might fall out of the wall and cut your head off. I love Aunty but when you have to make life decisions to cool down or be decapitated, we need some home repair. I burnt up the whole night b/c there’s no proper ventilation, but at least I have my head.