In this week alone, I saw Suge Knight, I time traveled, if you don’t believe me ask my wife, she was there, I saw Big Worm and a shady looking ice-cream truck on separate occasions, told a NeNe Leakes joke, I had vegan enchiladas (3 nights in a row), and got introduced to the movie Twilight, and watched the first two, and was told by wife that I wasn’t interesting.
In a similar vein to “The Colbert Report” and “Last Week Tonight,” the show will feature openly gay Stephen Guarino sparing with straight co-host Mike E. Winfield on the cultural highs and lows of the week.
“By spotlighting each host’s distinct and hilarious viewpoint, ‘The Straight Out Report’ not only offers a fresh perspective on the headlines and newsmakers of the day, but also underscores that comedy is the perfect device to emphasize our similarities and differences,” said Pamela Post, vice president of programming at Logo TV.
Guarino and Winfield will have weekly segments with names like “Enough With The …,” “The IT List,” “Unintentional Gay Moment,” “THIS Was Actually On Television,” “Trendspotting,” “Your New Best Friend” and “Feud For Thought.” “The Straight Out Report” will also include a weekly guest appearance from a social media star.
The show is created by Adam de la Pena, who has written “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” “Crank Yankers,” “The Man Show” and “Code Monkeys.” Post and Stevenson Greene serve as exec producers for Logo TV.
Guarino is a comedian and actor best known for playing Derrick on ABC’s “Happy Endings,” a character he has carried over to NBC’s “Marry Me.” He was previously a member of Logo TV’s “The Big Gay Sketch Show.” Winfield made his debut on “The Late Show with David Letterman” before landing a recurring role on NBC’s “The Office.”
Saw this guy in Kirkland – best show I’ve seen in a long time. Not raunchy, just intelligent, super funny commentary about things nobody would think are all that funny. I came out of there feeling like I had been beat up, my stomach and sides were hurting from laughing so much. This guy is going to be big-time someday, glad I can say I saw him in a small club.
It’s a new beautiful day and people are still stupid, but I’m not concerned with that. I’m only concerned with the decision if I’m gonna wear boxers or boxer briefs. Obvious choice right? Birds are chirping, and I know something very amazing is going to happen today. I’m in a productive mood, and if music was bumping right now, I’d do that one dance that nobody can stop. It’s an original.
I think the problem that women have with other women is when it comes to their man, they don’t respect the boundaries. A lot of guys don’t see it, I do, and your woman notices it the second it happens. Recently, I had women approach to welcome me to a show she booked, and I reached out for a handshake, and she says, “No, I’m a hugger.” We hug, and I say, “And meet my wife.” Who she didn’t realize was standing right behind me. And this YouknowWhat reaches out and extends her arm to shake my ladies’ hand. Oh, I guess you’re no longer a hugger. #ThirstyYouSay
Tiger Woods was caught with over fifteen hoes, and his golf game has not been the same since. Yes, he lost his family and that alone would be devastating for many people, but is it possible that his needs and the rush that comes from living an infidel lifestyle has affected his talent? Does he have to have a marriage he can be unfaithful to in order to succeed? Many sports are more of a mental game than a physical one. I hate to see a player’s competitive fire stripped. If you look in his eyes, you can see the insecurity. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to recover, and it has nothing to do with injuries. His need fed his competitive drive.
The other night I was approached by a mature female fan who asked me to sign her breast. The request made me curious, so I glanced at her set. They were big, actually pretty big. I noticed she already had a signature on the smaller one. I chose not to sign this woman’s breast. Not because she obviously asked me second, or because I was arguing with my lady that night, and didn’t want her snooping on facebook to find some picture of me groping, I mean signing some, (In her words) ‘bitches boob.’ It’s just something I tend to steer away from. I’m married and in a business that supplies many offers daily whether it’s cocaine, after parties, or boob signing, so after you’ve done it a thousand times, the thrill is gone, and you are able to pass, and have everyone look at you in awe because you passed on the chance to see some cougar boobs. Plus, she had on a llama print bra. I like leopard.
So me and my lady are walking out of the store. She’s checking the receipt like women do, when this old playa approaches from behind. I’d say around 60 years old and from Africa. He’s like is this your sister? I say Naw, that’s my wife. And then he’s like, Well, you have a nice wife. And then I say “I know I have a nice wife!” I look at her and even louder I say, “Is this old playa tryna get slapped in front of Walmart!?” Rhetorical, but you gotta let these grandfathers know. So I grabbed his cane and kicked it in the street. Security was looking but I knew he wouldn’t bother us. He looked like that person who says, They don’t pay me enough to be fighting crime out here.”