Last night after the show, I’m walking back to my hotel room alone after having two amazing shows. This is not one of my smartest moves, but I felt safe and that’s why I did it. I’m in the downtown streets of Dallas Fort Worth, and its busy, but as I keep walking it lessens. At one point when I’m a block away from the hotel, a 5’6″ pudgy dude walks up to me and he’s like, “Bro, don’t let me get rolled on!” He looks scared and is clearly intoxicated, and he’s like, “Bro I got your back, don’t let me get rolled on!” Then I look back and this dude is being followed. He thinks this guy is gonna shoot him, and he wants my help. Now I’m scared, but playing it cool, and trust, I’ve been in many situations, but nothing even close to this. We’re walking side by side at a rapid pace, and he’s pleading with me, he’s panicking, and I’m not saying anything, just surveying the scene. Now its like we’re both being followed. I start getting flashes of my family and things that I love and start thinking about my escape. The potential gunman, who I can’t really describe b/c it was so dark, has sped up his pace behind us. Now we’re coming up on a corner and I’m like, “Look, dude. As soon as we hit this corner, you smash left.” There’s no traffic or people around. Boom! We hit the corner. Pudgy drunk dude breaks left and I break right. I got far enough away that I can look back and notice that the gunman is now walking in the opposite direction. I hook another corner and I’m back inside my hotel room. I just start praying. I can’t sleep. I just sit up, stuck on frightening thoughts of what coulda been, and if this was my last day, am I proud of how I’m living.
Other than having the chills, I can’t stop thinking of all the petty issues that we face, and grudges we hold, and stuff that’s really not that serious. Be well. 1/12/13
Where did we find this one?
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.
In a way, recording OFF BEAT in front of a live studio audience is stand up comedy. There was an adjustment at first, but now I’m in my comfort zone. We get the best crowds coming in, and between myself, Mal, and the rest of the team, it’s professional but it doesn’t feel like it. We’re just having fun. During some of our breaks people get up and perform like an unofficial talent show. They don’t know, but I’m in the back watching. I wish we would record that. Some of it would be interesting for the show.
Anytime that I am performing stand up, I’m living that good life. I’m glad that I get to visit all these nice cities like Tampa and Denver, but I don’t have to tour the town. I just wanna hit the local court and hoop up who ever is in my way. I hate to be so forward, but I don’t think there’s another comedian with the basketball skills that I have. I’m actually low key about it, because I don’t want to intimidate anyone. Other than that it’s showtime, and love relationships are heavy on my mind, so I’m gonna shred them apart. I know I have a one-sided story, but who cares as long as it’s funny. The Side Splitters Comedy Club in Tampa has a three show Saturday, so I recommend you coming to the third show, where I will be completely deranged and not know what I’m talking about.
The Madison Square Garden Company’s music-centered cable channel Fuse has picked up three new, original series, all set to premiere by early 2013, including Off Beat from FishBowl Worldwide Media.
“Off Beat” — A weekly half-hour mash-up of the funniest and most outrageous music-themed Internet videos and viewer-created clips, hosted by comedian Mike E. Winfield. Mike E. has not slowed down since his debut on “The Late Show with David Letterman” and, most recently, his reoccurring role on NBC’s “The Office.” Production is underway for 12 episodes, which are set to premiere this summer. “Off Beat” is produced by FishBowl Worldwide Media and Executive Producers Vin Di Bona, Bruce Gersh, Susan Levison and Beth Greenwald. Mike Gibbons (“Tosh.0″) is signed on as a creative consultant and the showrunner is Steve Melcher (“The Showbiz Show with David Spade”).
More at Deadline Hollywood
Sometimes I don’t like the current blog thats at the top of the page, so I write a new one just to cover the last one and that’s what this is. I can’t believe how many youtube clips I’ve been watching lately. People will do anything, and it’s amazing how many entertaining people are not getting paid for their work… Oh well. I just watched a woman play the piano with her boobs.
Signup on the right to receive my newsletter.
If you’re not watching women’s softball, you are wasting your life. This is by far the most exciting sport on television right now. Their field seems smaller and the plays move so fast, and the ball is even larger, so these girls are clocking them. They are crushing it! One thing we know about many women is that they can be emotional, and some of these games are highly emotional and very competitive. I’ve watched some amazing pitching as well. Here is something that I bet that you don’t even know. The ball, from pitcher to home plate, reaches the batter even faster than in Major League Baseball. This is no joke, I am emotionally invested in a few of these teams, but my favorite team right now is Hofstra.